Condemned
by Cookie Creed
Summary: Captain Doctor Natalie Benson is excited to finally be in Atlantis. She intends to work as hard as she can and join an off world team. Then an encounter with a certain Lieutenant who has no memory of his own dark past changes everything. Rated M for adult themes.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

The City of the Ancients was more beautiful than Captain Doctor Natalie Benson had ever imagined. When General Landry took her aside and told her that she would be transferred from the SGC to Atlantis, she had been psyched. Yet nothing could prepare her for the real thing: the swooping spires, towers arching gracefully, and the beautiful sunset cascading through the window of the Mess Hall teeming with expedition members.

As a newcomer, she couldn't be expected to be accepted into any groups straight away. First she had to talk with Elizabeth Weir about where she would be assigned and perform an evaluation. The results would most likely take a while to come in and she would have much free time until then. She had an idea that she would be assigned on one of the off world teams, due to her experience in the SGC, but perhaps she would be put into the scientific division to put her PhD to work. Most of the people already in Atlantis had been there for almost two years and developed their own cliques. She eyed SGA1 enviously. They were the top dogs. They were the people everyone wanted to be: Colonel John Sheppard, Doctor Rodney McKay, Ronon Dex and Teyla Emmagen. Granted, she wouldn't want to be like McKay, but still…

Natalie cast her eyes over the selection of food and wrinkled her nose at the almond packets. She would have to be careful that she didn't eat anything with nuts in it, for fear of setting off her allergy. So instead she selected fried rice and a bottle of water and made her way to the balcony, where most of the newbies ate.

The view was magnificent. As she ate, she admired the way that the sun kissed the ocean, brushing its lips along the smooth, almost corporeal form. There was a unique beauty of this planet; one that couldn't be matched by anything on Earth.

No one approached her as she ate and she was slightly hurt. Sighing with resignation she stood, brushing off her pants and made her way back inside to dispose of her empty tray. As a child she'd been taught to never waste food. In another galaxy, where Earth food was non-existent, wastage was a dumb idea. She was inclined to agree with it.

People wandered the halls, yet no one greeted her. She didn't have any friends yet. Not even people she'd known at Stargate Command. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she had only been employed at the SGC for half a year before being sent to another galaxy. The knowledge that she was there was almost unbelievable, inconsistent, intolerable. Staring out a glass window, she had trouble believing herself. Aliens existed. Other galaxies were out there. She was in one.

Excitement surged through her body. Never before had she been so excited about anything in her entire life. In a week she would be interviewed and evaluated, and in a month, placed wherever her abilities deemed her suitable. Her stomach fluttered with nerves. What if she didn't perform to the best of her abilities? What if she screwed up? What if they didn't like her? What if she wasn't what they were looking for?

Sighing, she slowed and closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. Then suddenly the breath was knocked from her and she fell back onto the ground. What the hell had she just hit? Tearing her eyes open, she saw a man leaning down to help her.

"I'm so sorry," he said quickly, taking her hands and pulling her up. "I didn't see you there and just came around the corner and…"

"It's fine," she said dismissively. "I wasn't watching where I was going. My fault."

He smiled sweetly. "That's good. I'd hate to have more enemies here. Hi, I'm Lieutenant Michael Kenmore."

"Hi, I'm Captain Doctor Natalie Benson. Pleased to meet you." They shook hands. "So how long have you been here?"

"I don't know. A couple days ago I woke in the Infirmary without my memory. Doctor Weir said it should come back in time. Did we know each other?"

"Oh, no. This is my first day. I just got here this morning. You're the first person I've actually spoken to!"

Two men came jogging around the corner and stood behind Michael, like a guard. He winced. "Colonel Sheppard seems to think I'm dangerous so he wants me watched. It's understandable. Would you like to have lunch with me? I'd like to know more about things."

"Um, I just ate," she said quickly, "but I can sit with you, if you like."

"I'd like that," he said, smiling. She tried to not focus on how insanely attractive he was when he smiled. They walked together down the halls of Atlantis back to the Mess Hall and sat together at a table. Michael asked her questions and she answered them to the best of her ability. There were things she didn't know, like the people and the fact that there was going to be a party that evening. Michael seemed happy to share the information.

"Do you think I should go?" she asked tentatively.

"Well, Doctor Weir thinks I should go and become integrated with the community. You're one of the first people who's actually been nice to me. It would be good to have someone friendly to hang out with."

"Are others not nice to you?"

"Well, Teyla is kind of nice, but Colonel Sheppard and Ronon seem uncomfortable around me. I don't know why."

"Neither. You're a pretty decent guy."

Michael finished his food and glanced back at the guards that stood near him. "You're probably the only person who thinks that. I don't know why they're being so weird."

"You've lost your memory. I reckon it's a natural reaction. Sort of. You could remember who you were and explode at any moment."

"That's the thing. What if I don't like who I was?"

"You will. Even if you don't, then you can always start afresh."

He paled. "What if I was an ass? Would that be why they're distant?"

"No," she assured him, "I doubt you were an ass."

Despite the serious nature of the conversation, she was enjoying it. Michael was a sweet guy and extremely good-looking. He had a slim physique, pleasing face and _gorgeous _hazel eyes. She could stare into those eyes forever. The way her stomach clenched when he smiled was a reminder that it had been five years since her marriage ended and seven since she'd had sex. Maybe it wouldn't hurt to get to know Michael better. Okay, she would be willing to forego a relationship if he wasn't interested, but she was a grown woman and was entitled to as much flirting as she wanted. For all she knew they could be good friends.

"It would suck if I turned out to be an ass," he sighed.

"The future is what you make of it," she recalled. "Just shape your own future based on who you are now."

"You know, I think I might do that." He looked decidedly more cheerful. "Thanks Natalie. I hope I'll see you around."

They shook hands across the table and went their separate ways. Her mind was reeling. How could she even be thinking of a relationship with a man she'd just met? Granted, he was seriously attractive, but she didn't even have any real friends yet. If Michael didn't turn out to be interested… talk about a dent to the ego.

On her way to her quarters she passed a gaggle of excited women huddled together to one side of the corridor. Unconsciously, she slowed. One of them was holding up a pair of men's underwear and smiling victoriously.

"I can't believe you slept with Sheppard," one woman hissed. "He's like, only attracted to aliens!"

"Nope," grinned the woman with the underwear, "like any alien woman I seduced him with my ass and smile. He was totally a goner." The woman caught sight of Natalie. "What are you looking at newbie? Are you a Marine or civilian?"

"Captain Doctor," Natalie said through clenched teeth.

"Ugh, that's like, the worst combination."

"Hey, you were having lunch with Michael!" exclaimed a different woman.

"Yes, what of it?" Natalie challenged, moving so that their conversation wasn't advertised to the rest of the corridor.

"Why would you? Don't you know?"

"Know what? That he's lost his memory?"

"Ohmigod, she doesn't know!"

The woman booed and hissed and Natalie didn't feel welcome. They were the school bullies of Atlantis, she realised. Now, on her very first day, she'd made enemies. Great. Just great. Natalie turned and stalked away from them, only sheer determination preventing her from turning and launching herself at their stupid faces. Just keep cool. Don't make them huffier then they already are.

There were footsteps behind her and a tiny woman caught up with Natalie, panting slightly.

"I saw how they shunned you," she gasped, clutching her side. "It was mean."

"Who are they?!" Natalie grated.

"Mainly anthropologists and botanists," the woman said. "Hi, I'm Doctor Sophie Flynn, scientist."

"Captain Doctor Natalie Benson," Natalie replied, holding out her hand. Sophie shook it, pushing her round glasses up her nose with her other hand.

"Well, like I said, they're pretty mean. They're the ones that compete for who sleeps with the most guys. I guess Josie is winning because she bagged Sheppard."

"What? That's stupid! Who's Josie?"

"Doctor Josie Eaton, anthropologist. She's the one holding up the underwear. You'd do well to avoid her."

"Yeah, I figured that one out for myself." Natalie paused. "Say, are you going to that party tonight?"

Sophie blanched. "Me? At a party? Oh, no. It's not my scene."

"That's fine," Natalie shrugged. "You wanna be friends?"

"Really? That would be awesome! I only got here a few months ago and I've never had a _military _friend before! I'd be honoured!"

Sophie's exuberant, joyful personality amused Natalie. She could get used to hanging around with the kind scientist. But one thing still bothered her…

"Do you know anything about Lieutenant Michael Kenmore?"

"No. He must be fairly new here. I don't even know what they were talking about."

They were silent for a moment, standing in the corridor. "How much do you know about self-defence?" Natalie asked.

"Not much," Sophie replied, biting her lip.

"You wanna come down to the gym and I can show you some moves?"

"Why not?" she shrugged. "Let's go."

Together, the women ascended the stairs to the gym.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

"Hold your arm a little higher," Natalie said, nodding as Sophie made the necessary adjustment. "Make sure to keep your elbows in. They're a typical target because elbows are bony and hurt a _lot_ when someone hits you there. Trust me, I know from experience."

"I honestly didn't know that the heel of the hand is better than a fist," Sophie grunted, pushing Natalie's arms away and spinning around, blocking the other woman's side swipe.

"A fist is an invitation for broken fingers," Natalie said. Sophie examined her own hand.

"And I never knew that I had so much power." The small, scrawny woman with pale skin and huge bug-eye glasses looked genuinely proud. "Thanks."

"Everyone has power," Natalie laughed, "but few learn how to use it properly. I bet you could beat Josie in a bout of arm-wrestling. She only has muscles in her boobs and thighs."

"Yes, she is missing a few key muscles. For example, the one in between her ears."

The two women burst into good-natured laughter and sat to one side of the gym, sipping water from their bottles.

"Are you sure you won't come to the party tonight?" Natalie asked.

"Yes, I'm certain," Sophie giggled. "I think you'd best go with Michael."

Natalie fought a blush. "Why, Sophie, I do believe you intend to set me up!"

"Hey, he's cute. It's just weird that I haven't seen him around before. And from what you've told me, you're single and ready to mingle."

"Just because I'm single doesn't mean-"

"Oh, posh. You deserve at least one night."

"I'm not getting involved with any one-night stands. It's virtually impossible for me to be with someone I don't care for. But what about you?"

"What about me?"

"Are there any hot young lads you want to ensnare?"

"No! Well, I mean, there's one but… I don't think he knows I exist…"

"Who? Tell me tell me tell me!"

"Don't tell anyone okay, but… Doctor McKay."

"WHAT?!"

"I mean, he's with Katie and everything, but he's quite brilliant. I can't help but…"

"He's your boss."

"I know. That's what makes it worse! I don't want to have a crush on my boss!"

"Do everyone a favour Sophie: move on."

"Yeah, I guess so."

She fell silent and Natalie reflected on her first day. It had been more eventful than she'd expected. She'd met an attractive guy, made enemies with the Atlantis bunnies and become friends with a geeky scientist. Not that she wasn't geeky herself. In fact, she had always been a geeky person. Hence her PhD and title 'Doctor'.

The gym was empty as most people were getting ready for the party, so there was no chance of them being overheard. Natalie applauded the fact because she found their conversation a bit embarrassing. What if someone heard them? It would be humiliating.

"Doh!" Sophie slapped her forehead. "I was meant to start a report for the department an hour ago! I have to go!"

"See ya," Natalie nodded, waving as Sophie stood and rushed out of the gym. She closed her eyes and rested her head against the wall. So absorbed in her thoughts, she didn't notice that someone had entered the room until a shadow fell over her. She opened her eyes. It was Michael.

"Uh, hi," he said, smiling adorably. "I thought Teyla would be here."

"I think she's getting ready for the party," Natalie said slowly, standing.

"Oh. She was meant to be sparring with me. Apparently I was good at it before."

Natalie tilted her head. "Sparring? I have to admit, I was more of a sniper and not good with other weapons, to be honest."

"You wanna spar?" he asked eagerly. Natalie nodded and he grabbed two staffs from the rack.

"No bodyguards?" she teased.

"They're standing outside," he replied, waving his staff to the closed door. "I have to say, I'm glad that they are. It's kinda awkward having them follow me everywhere."

Natalie laughed and they took up their positions in the middle of the room. They began to spar slowly, getting into a rhythm, both of them apparently still getting the hang of it. Natalie enjoyed the sparring with him and wondered if they could make it a regular occurrence. He was quite good and she needed some more practice before her own evaluation. Michael was enjoying it too and smiled constantly. He really was a sweet person.

Soon they were tired and sat down to rest. Michael took a long swig of water.

"Tell me about yourself," he said. "Who are you?"

Natalie shifted uncomfortably. "I'd rather not... I mean, like, reveal certain aspects. I'm not too proud of parts of my past."

"Oh, that's fine. Really. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or anything."

She smiled. "That means a lot. Well, I was born in London, England and grew up in Newcastle with my parents until I was twenty. Then I joined the military and moved to America. Over there I met a guy called Lesley and we got married when I was twenty-five. Three years into the marriage I… well, anyway, things became strained between us and it only lasted two more years. We divorced five years ago and last year I joined the SGC. Then I came here. What about you?"

He laughed at my gentle teasing. "Well, apparently I'm from a place called Texas. So you're… thirty-five?"

"Yeah," she replied, shifting. She was only too aware of how much she looked it.

"Thirty-six," he said triumphantly. "I'm older!"

They began to laugh and one of the guards peered inside and, seeing the two of them laughing, turned his attention elsewhere.

"What's to be embarrassed about that past?" Michael asked after they quietened down.

"Well… I…"

"You don't have to tell me! It's just human curiosity."

"No. I feel like I have to tell someone, and I trust you, which is crazy because we've known each other for nearly six hours. I never spill my guts to a complete stranger."

"I promise I won't tell anyone else. You're confiding in me."

She was grateful. "Phew, okay. Get it together. For most of my twenties I smoked and about three years into our marriage I became pregnant. He was so excited and talked about nothing else. But I had a miscarriage. It was caused because I smoked. He could never look at me the same. We didn't have sex ever again and we ended up divorced. Since then I quit smoking, but the damage was done. It destroyed my marriage. That's why I'm here in Pegasus without leaving anyone behind."

She sniffed and he put his hand on hers awkwardly. "You're brave, I'll give you that. Thank you for trusting me. It means a lot. I'm sure you'll meet a strapping young man sometime in the future. God knows, you're attractive enough." He clamped his other hand over his mouth. "Did I say that?"

"Yes, you did." She gave him a watery smile. "And thanks. It means a lot."

She forced down her insane attraction to him and focussed on not tearing up. That would be the ultimate humiliation. To confess her darkest secret and break down crying like a baby. He turned and rummaged through his jacket, pulling something out.

"I was given these by Heightmeyer," he said. "Would you like one?"

She stared down at his hands and let out a delighted laugh. "Of course I would!" She accepted a lollipop, unwrapped it and popped it in her mouth. His eyes were riveted on her mouth and he licked his lips before looking away.

"The party starts soon," he said. "I'd best let you get ready."

"Oh, sure," she said. "I'll see you there."

"Yeah, see you there." They stood, shook hands, and went their separate ways again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

Natalie stared down at what she wore: loose-fitting jeans, boots and a snug t-shirt. Comparing herself to the other women in the Mess Hall, she felt completely inadequate.

They all wore tiny skirts, mini-shirts and heels. Then again, they didn't have to worry about lines and becoming thicker around the waist. Maybe if she dyed her hair Natalie wouldn't have to worry about the lines of grey that streaked her hair. She would always have to face it – she was old. Too old to be wearing tight clothes and doll up. So she opted for simplicity, a light foundation and just wearing her hair down.

As soon as she entered the Mess Hall she saw Josie staring at her critically. The other woman smirked and flashed some leg, much to Natalie's chagrin and to the pleasure of the men standing near her. Soon Josie would have to deal with the consequences of age and Natalie would laugh at her. No one was young and beautiful forever. The fact was, Natalie may have been young, but she had never been beautiful.

For most of her life she'd been overweight with a bad case of acne and buck teeth. She still had the buck teeth but her acne had cleared up and she'd lost weight. But she had never been beautiful and the fact haunted her. It was the reason why she knew Michael would never be interested in her. Guys were all shallow. She was nowhere near attractive enough to have a guy come and talk to her tonight and she was well aware of it.

The thought made her sigh and she scanned the crowd of faces looking for one in particular, cursing that Sophie had bailed. That lucky woman was lying snug in bed with a coffee and computer, typing up reports. If Natalie weren't there she would be lying in bed with a hot chocolate reading 'Jane Eyre'.

But a promise was a promise. Her eyes found Michael, sitting awkwardly and alone at a table. She went over and he positively beamed. Her stomach fluttered and she sat at the table with him.

"It's pretty crowded," he said. Music began to pump and a floor cleared. People moved into it, dancing and rubbing their bodies together. Natalie watched with distaste for a moment and felt a fleeting desire to return to her room. She spotted a table with punch nearby and stood, motioning to it. Michael nodded, smiling, and she left.

"You should stay away from him."

Natalie turned, panicked, and was staring into the eyes of Ronon Dex. He was tall and had an unmistakable look of danger in his eyes.

"Oh yeah?" she said defiantly. "I can hang out with whoever I want, thank you very much. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

"He's dangerous!" Ronon called to her back. She ignored him and got two cups of punch before moving back over to where Michael sat on his own. On the way she heard Ronon talking to Sheppard.

"…know who she is?" Ronon asked.

"No. I've never seen her before. She must be new. We should probably warn her."

"I already did. She won't listen…"

She sat with Michael and gave him a cup of punch.

"So," he said, "how are you enjoying yourself so far? From what I can gather from your body language you're uncomfortable in places like this. Tell me, am I right?"

"Yeah, you're right," she replied, taking a deep draught of punch. It stung her tongue and she realised that there was alcohol in it. "There's alcohol in this."

"What?"

"Erm, I'm a light weight so I shouldn't drink anymore." She leant back in her chair, rubbing her face. Her temples were already throbbing from the loud music. Michael leant forward and shook her shoulder gently.

"You wanna dance?" he asked. Natalie sighed and stood, waiting for him to gulp down the rest of his drink before they moved to the dance floor. A loud pop song was playing and most people were bouncing up and down with the tune. Michael turned out to have rhythm and began break-dancing halfway through. Natalie admired how fluid his muscles were as he moved and when he got up people watched him approvingly. She and Michael began to dance with renewed vigour and she put into practice dance moves she'd long forgotten. Needless to say, they enjoyed dancing and were flushed and short of breath when they went to get some more punch, forgetting that it had alcohol in it. They were parched.

"I didn't know you could dance so well," she said, drinking deeply.

"Neither did I," he laughed. They sat down at a table and leant back on their chairs. "When will they have cake?"

His question was answered when a huge chocolate cake was brought out and set on a table. The music was stilled and everyone sang 'Happy Birthday' to whoever was ageing (someone called Robin). Michael and Natalie joined the queue waiting for cake and someone shoved into Natalie.

"Are you really hanging out with _him_ because no one else will have you," Josie said mockingly.

"_Him_ happens to be nice. _You _happen to be a bitch. If you'll excuse me…"

She stamped on Josie's foot, congratulating her choice of footwear, and grabbed a slice of cake. Yep, she could always say it was an accident. Josie had no proof that it was intentional. A smirk crossed Natalie's face and she sat with Michael, eating her cake. He finished his first and eyed hers hopefully. She grinned and held it out to him, laughing as he took a huge bite and gave it back. His eyes sparkled and he chewed triumphantly.

When everyone was finished eating the music started up again. Natalie disposed of her plate.

"I think I'll head to bed," she told Michael.

"Yeah, I should probably go too. There's not much point staying here if I have no one to hang out with. That's just anti-social."

They stood and left together, oblivious to the whispers and stares that followed them the whole way out. Several corridors later the music died out and they were in the familiar quietness of the Atlantis halls.

"My room is closer," Natalie said. A slight fogginess came over her eyes and she shook her head to clear it. Just how much alcohol had been in those drinks? She stumbled and Michael grabbed her, steadying her.

"Yeah, you're definitely a light weight," he said in amusement. She rolled her eyes.

"Those drinks must've had a lot of alcohol in them," she told him. They reached her room. "Well, I suppose this is good night. Thanks for walking with me." She made a move to turn away, but his hands still held her. "Um, Michael…"

Her mind went blank as he leaned in closer, his face inches from hers. Seven sexless years came crashing down on her and she whimpered. That decided him and he kissed her hard. Oh. He tasted of chocolate and he was a good kisser. Seriously, he was a _good_ kisser. He pushed her back against the door to her quarters and drew her leg up around him. Her mind swam and she clutched him closer to her, flattered that he was kissing her. Flattered that he was touching her. Flattered that he thought her good enough to kiss.

She moaned and the door opened. They stumbled through and collapsed on the bed. His hands were tearing at her clothes and she felt something hard pressing against her leg. He tore his mouth from hers and suckled at her neck briefly, trailing kisses down to her breast. Her breath came in pants and the throbbing was becoming unbearable. It really had been far too long since she'd had sex. Then a sudden thought came over her, washing away the hazy passion in a wave of coldness.

What the hell was she doing? She'd only met Michael today. Was she drunk? Did he even like her, or was she just an object of pleasure?

"Michael," she croaked. His hands stopped and he looked up at her, confused. "What are we doing?"

His eyes dawned in understanding and he rolled off the bed, holding out his hands. She took them and he helped her up. "I am so sorry," he said quickly, a blush coming over his face. "I honestly don't know what came over me. I'm sorry if I overstepped any boundaries." He was genuinely apologetic.

"No, it's my fault. You see, I haven't had sex in about… seven years and I never do things like this."

"So you do not wish to…"

"Oh, yes. Oh yes I want to. Just not now. Maybe when we get to know each other better?"

He grinned. "Is that maybe, hopefully, or definitely?"

"I don't know. It depends if I've had anything to drink."

He chuckled and bent down, bringing her hands to his lips. Oh, it was a _definitely. _She smiled weakly and fought to keep her balance as his eyes met hers. He really was gorgeous. Why the hell was Ronon telling her to stay away? She was a grown woman and could take care of herself.

"Good night, Natalie," he said. "I look forward to getting to know you better."

The way he said her name was so… attractive. "Same here. Night."

He left the room, closing the door behind him with a final sweet smile, and she collapsed on her bed, squeezing her legs together. Oh no. Oh god no.

Seven years was definitely too long.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

For the next few days Natalie trained relentlessly with Sophie, helping the small woman as well as readying herself for her own evaluation. The scientist was eager to learn and a faithful listener. She was like a butterfly – her thoughts flitting from one thing to the next, always coming up with something new. That was why Doctor McKay valued her so much. She was nimble and skilled with basically any type of technology. If only Natalie had grounds like that.

The truth was she didn't know what would happen to her. As the days passed she became increasingly restless, doubting her ability to join an off world team. In this galaxy only the best were chosen – the seasoned warriors. She was neither. She was a newbie from the _Daedalus _who had no cause to flaunt about boasting of her non-existent abilities. Out of all the possible candidates for teams, she was not one of the top ten. Maybe not even the top twenty. She had been brought here because of her unwavering courage and that time when she laughed in the face of danger.

She remembered it well. Her team had run into a tough spot, surrounded by Ba'al's Jaffa, and they'd relinquished their weapons. The First Prime mocked them and she replied by calling him a 'trout-faced shithead'. Then, shocked by her own language, she'd begun to laugh hysterically. It threw the Jaffa off their balance and made them uncomfortable, offering her team an opportunity to escape. Her team commander referred her to General Landry and he decided her abilities were better suited for Pegasus. Natalie was a sniper. She wasn't good with close-contact and preferred to stay at a distance, picking off enemies with her rifle. Her eye was superb and she was an excellent shot, receiving top marks in sniping at the Academy. It made up for her bad wrestling and knife-fighting score.

Weapons were her speciality.

Sophie ducked Natalie's head kick and pivoted her heel, whipping it centimetres from her face. Natalie backed up and caught Sophie's fist, twisting it behind her back and kicking her legs. Sophie's legs gave away and she fell to the ground.

"You're so much better," Natalie laughed, letting go gently and helping her friend up. Sophie glowed.

"I'll have something to show those snobs in anthropology!" she exclaimed. "Stupid bit-"

"Well, it looks like we're done for the day," Natalie cut in, not wanting Sophie to curse at her expense. Sophie giggled and hugged her before skipping out of the gym.

Over the last few days Natalie had done some exploring. She'd found a small, cosy room out of the way on the outskirts of the west pier. It was filled with comfortable couches and was quiet, making it the perfect place for her to read.

She stopped quickly at her room to clean up, grab her book and, making sure she wasn't followed, snuck out to the west pier to her room. As far as she knew, no one else knew of the room and it was still hers. She would hate to go there and find a couple dry-humping on one of the couches, or worse…

Every day she thought of Michael. Her body longed for him and she found it hard to stay away. When she saw him walking about with Teyla, her stomach churned with jealousy. _That should be me, _her mind told her. Rational thought told her that she was helping him remember his past. Insecurity whispered that they were sleeping together.

Once too often, insecurity won.

Her body remembered how crazy his touch made her. If he touched her even once her resolve wouldn't hold and 'getting to know him better' would be a futile gesture. She'd get to know him _very _well indeed… in a physical sense. Even her emotions betrayed her hormones. She liked him. She liked him a lot. She wanted him. He was sweet and gorgeous. He was a much better offer than her ex-husband, and it was clear that he was interested in her.

The room was empty when she got there and she curled up in the corner of one of the double couches, opening her book 'Jane Eyre', beginning to read where she'd left off. Moments later before she had a chance to settle in the familiar rhythm of page-turning, she heard footsteps.

Looking up, her breath quickened. It was Michael. And he was alone. No guards shadowing him or acting like stalkers. It was just him.

"Uh, hi," she said and, realising her throat was dry, cleared it.

"Hey," he said, sitting down on the opposite side of the couch and kicking up his feet on the top of the next one. "How have you been? I haven't seen you for a while."

"I've been hanging out with Sophie. I'm teaching her self-defence and practicing for my evaluation."

He smiled, making her stomach do flops. "When is it?"

"Uh, er, um, two days from now."

"Make sure you tell me how it goes! I really do hope you do well and get your dream job here." He licked his lips. "What is your dream job here?"

"I'd love to be put on an off world team, but they accept only the best and I'm far from it. So I'll have to settle for guard duty or something. Maybe do a bit of tinkering in engineering in my spare time." She tried to sound nonchalant but his presence was like fire. How long could she control herself for? Licking her lips, she folded the page of her book and settled back, staring out the window. It really was a beautiful room.

"This is a nice place," Michael said, as if reading her thoughts.

"Yeah, I think I'm the only one who knows of it. I find it's useful to continue reading my book." She waved it in the air and his eyes followed it for a second before meeting hers again. Oh god. The throbbing was back. Curse those seven years!

"'Jane Eyre'," he read. "Sounds interesting. What's it about?"

She launched into an explanation to take her mind off her burning loins. They sat there for hours talking, getting to know each other. After sharing with him the skeletons in her closet Natalie found it easier to talk to him. As the time passed she realised that they were getting to know each other better. Did that mean…? The burning and throbbing had ceased for now and she wasn't eager for it to return. Last time she'd barely gotten herself under control, only just managing to prevent the inevitable release. If foreplay with him got her that aroused, she couldn't imagine how it would feel _after_ the foreplay, when they were actually doing the deed. The idea didn't repulse her. She welcomed it. He was just like any other man, except with the ability to drive her to the edge.

When he left, he didn't touch her, clearly aware of the strict control she was under. He nodded and waggled his fingers, grinning wider as she smiled weakly in reply. Then he was gone.

He'd made her feel that way without even touching her. That was messed up.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

She was tired, but satisfied with her performance. First of all she told Sophie how she went and ate lunch with the scientist and then retreated to her room, where she'd asked Michael to meet her. She didn't want people peeping in on their conversation or anything.

Yesterday he'd confessed over dinner on the balcony (away from everyone else) that he was having nightmares. He told her about the details and how they scared him and Natalie felt pity, touching his shoulder gently. The gesture wasn't sexual and it didn't sent jolts of anticipation through her. Michael had been genuinely frightened and not eve his sessions with Heightmeyer helped, but he said that spending time with Natalie calmed him and made him feel better. She was flattered.

He was waiting for her when she reached the room and she sat beside him.

"How did you go?" he asked urgently.

"I think I did pretty well," she grinned. "It wasn't as hard as I'd anticipated, but I still doubt I'd be put on a team. How about you? Any nightmares last night?"

"That's good." He smiled briefly then pursed his lips. "Yeah, but it wasn't as bad as the other one."

"Was there a Wraith in it?"

"Yeah again. I wish I knew what they'd done to me. But there's something else…"

"What?"

"I mentioned this to Heightmeyer and I think my suspicion is correct. Something happened to me. Everyone's being so careful around me and choosing their words. Everyone except you. I don't get it."

"Neither. What could possibly be wrong with you? Aside from losing your memory, I mean."

He shook his head. "You're the only person, besides Teyla, who has been nice to me, but even she's careful."

Natalie's insides pulsed with jealousy. "I don't get it either. Maybe I could do some digging and find out what happened?"

"That would be awesome!" His face broke out into a beam. "You'd have to be discrete, though. Those guards never leave my side. It's always hard to shake them off."

"How do you manage?"

"I shut myself in a room with a vent and climb through it after telling them that I'm taking a nap and don't want to be disturbed." He grinned wolfishly. "Since they're being so careful they don't dare disobey me."

Natalie laughed and he caught her face in his hands, staring at the smile transfixed there.

"You look beautiful when you smile," he whispered.

"Really?" she said softly. "No one else thinks so."

"Then they're delusional."

"Uh, no, I think _you're _the del-"

The rest of her reply was cut off when he kissed her. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around him and adjusted her seat so she was sitting in his lap. The kiss deepened and he slid his hands underneath the back of her shirt, clutching at the skin there. One hand moved down and clutched her butt, thrusting her closer against him. She gasped as the hardness caressed her and squeezed her eyes shut. He growled and dipped his head, nipping at the sensitive skin on her neck, sending her into a frenzy. She didn't know how much longer she could prevent herself from straddling him there and then.

Abruptly he changed his grip, leaning forward and pinning her underneath him. Her legs automatically wrapped around his middle and she cursed the fabric that stood between her and satisfaction. He seemed to sense her impatience and pulled back, smiling. He was enjoying making her respond like this. _That bastard, _she thought hazily.

Slowly, teasingly, he stood and kicked off his shoes. Then he took off his shirt. Then she reached out and helped him step out of his pants and underwear. Even though he was hard he was of average size, but that didn't bother her. It pained her to say it, but her ex-husband had had a small one.

Then he knelt over her, sliding her shirt over her head in slow, deliberate movements, brushing against her skin. He stroked her back, unclipping the bra and tugging it off. Without pausing he dipped his head and began to suckle. Natalie had to stuff her fist in her mouth to prevent herself from screaming. It was really happening. She was having sex for the first time in seven years. And by god it felt good. They hadn't even done anything bad and he was already driving her over the edge.

He flicked her breast with his tongue and trailed it down her stretched stomach, his nimble fingers undoing her fly and caressing her as he slid her pants off. Then they were naked. He positioned himself above her and kissed her long and hard, his hands grabbing her hips and grinding himself against her. Suddenly he tore himself away and slid down her body, resting his head between her legs. He flicked out his tongue and her fist was back in her mouth. She was so _close…_

It came without warning and her body shuddered. Michael looked shocked at the wetness and the way her body trembled and bent over her.

"Are you okay?" he asked. She didn't trust herself to speak. Oh god that had been so _good_. She sat up, grabbing his chest and pushing him down underneath her. Surprised, he didn't resist and gasped as she took him in her mouth, caressing with her tongue and nails. His body shuddered and he couldn't supress a groan.

She knew he was near the end. Before he was ready, he changed position so he was above her. He trembled with need and looked into her eyes. She saw nothing but honesty in them and brought him down for a kiss. Bringing her hips up, she felt him enter her and her body relaxed. It was so much better than her imagination. This man was sensational.

He began to move, slowly at first, but then he gained more rhythm. She panted against his mouth and he pressed his lips to her throat, grunting with the effort. Her body was going over the edge again and they released in synch, letting out low cries of pleasure.

Panting, Michael fell against her, laying his head on her chest. The last rays of sun left the room, plunging them into darkness since Natalie willed the lights to stay off. No point alerting people to their presence.

Her body shuddered again and she closed her eyes, savouring the moment of his arms around her. His muffled voice startled her and she looked down at him.

"That was so good." He looked up and met her eyes. "_You _are so good. I felt like I'd never had sex before. Like it was all new."

"You're telling me," she replied softly. "I nearly released last week when we first almost… anyway, that was the first time in seven years."

"I'm glad we're able to share this," he sighed, wrapping his leg around her. "Can we stay a bit? I don't want to leave."

She nodded and he kissed her forehead, his caresses and heartbeat lulling her to sleep.

Hours later she woke and saw it was still dark. Michael was sleeping peacefully beside her but she had to wake him. _What _people would say if they were discovered there, lying naked, she didn't want to know.

"Michael," she whispered, his name rolling along her tongue like honey. "Michael, wake up."

He stirred and looked up at where she bent over him. "Is it time to go already?"

"Yeah. Someone probably noticed you were missing."

He stood first, untangling himself from her, and slowly got dressed. Natalie did the same and when they both looked respectable she kissed him deeply, sending him staggering slightly. "That's for giving me hope," she whispered against his mouth. "I hope you regain your memory. Perhaps we could work off it."

He knew what that meant and pulled back, smiling. "I'd like that." He squeezed her hand and left the room.

For the first time in seven years, she was satisfied.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"Oh my God. You…"

"Sophie! Shh! I don't want it public!"

Natalie glanced around the Mess Hall carefully and Sophie pursed her lips. The scientist's eyes were wide and sparkled with mischievous humour. Was there any way Natalie would get her to lower her voice? Probably not.

"Yes, we did," Natalie hissed, "but don't go blabbing it to everyone. What if it turns out he has another girl back on Earth if we have a thing? Everyone would pity me. I don't want their pity and I especially don't was _Josie_ to find out. She wouldn't let me see the end of it."

"But _seven_ years-"

"Yes! I know it was seven!"

"How good was he?"

Natalie decided to bite the bullet. "Keep your voice down and I'll tell you. He was excellent. He took me over the edge and I have to say, I'm eager for it to happen again."

Sophie frowned. "Is it just sex? Or are you falling for him?"

That made Natalie worried. "I don't know. It's definitely not just sex but… I don't think I would be in _love_ with him or anything. I mean, we've only known each other for just over a week. That kind of thing doesn't happen in a week."

"But it's definitely not just sex," Sophie waggled her finger. "You, my friend, have some serious feelings. I can tell."

"Oh really?" Natalie scoffed.

"Yes. I've been in love before, believe it or not. And it ended in heartbreak, so I don't like to talk about it."

"Who was he?"

"I said: I don't want to talk about it."

Natalie pursed her lips. "Okay. Then we won't talk about it. There's something else to… Ronon Dex told me to stay away and Michael told me how everyone seemed like they were being careful of what they said around him. There's something up with it and I promised to look into it. I want to know what's going on and why everyone here knows something I don't."

Sophie's eyes widened. "I see your Prince Charming approaches. Don't let me get in the way." The scientist winked and, despite Natalie's protests, darted away as quickly as possible. Michael sat in Sophie's vacated seat, watching her suspiciously.

"What's up with her?" he asked. Natalie blushed.

"She's my friend. She, uh, _knows_ things and could tell by my body language that we… anyway, she didn't want to _disturb_ us. I mean, please, she called you my 'Prince Charming'."

He smiled sweetly. "I'd very much like to be your Prince Charming and more…" His eyes met hers and a shiver passed through her body. Not now! How the hell did he make her tremble and quake like that?! Bastard.

"Yeah, well, she knew. So she left." Natalie grabbed half her sandwich and stuffed it in her mouth. Maybe she was falling for him?

"I don't really mind," he said, "just as long as you're okay with it."

She swallowed and smiled gratefully. "Thank you."

He raised his eyebrow. "Same time, same place? I think we have some catching up to do."

"Yes we do." She grinned. "I would like to be reacquainted to your friend…"

"And I'd like to be reacquainted with yours." His voice lowered. "It's not just about… you know, but I feel like it brings us closer. Trust me, I reckon I could survive without… just as long as I could be around you."

"You might, but I sure couldn't." Natalie was surprised at herself. She just admitted that she wanted him so much she couldn't be without sex. Wow. That was even more messed up. But she'd gone to long without it that she _needed_ it. She needed his touch and caresses. It was human nature to want company and she'd gone far too long without it.

Now he was smiling. "I thought you might say that. I'd like to say that I shall service you for however long you wish…"

Her body shivered in delicious, exquisite pleasure. Oh, she couldn't wait for tonight.

When they left the Mess Hall they separated – Michael heading for the Infirmary and Natalie for the shooting range. She was daydreaming peacefully about Michael silhouetted against the sunset when her progress through the corridors was halted by a group of women.

"What do you want?" Natalie asked wearily.

"Honestly," Josie snorted. "Why do you think you can strut around Atlantis like you own the place? Hell, you're not even _pretty_! Maybe you should just leave before you embarrass yourself or trip over your bootlaces or something?"

"Why don't you leave before you stab yourself in the eye with a mascara brush?" Natalie retorted. "Now if you don't get out of my way I'll have to do my session at the shooting range here, with your face."

Natalie pushed through the women and began walking away, but she heard Josie's parting sally. "Everyone here knows the truth about Kenmore! Maybe you should think about finding out more about him before talking to him again! He has some shocking things under his belt!"

She did her best to keep herself calm, but her posture went rigid. What did they know about Michael? What did she mean he had shocking things under his belt? She pushed it out of her mind and focussed on her shooting session, but she performed poorly. Great. Just clear your mind… easier said than done.

That night she went to sleep with Michael's arms around her, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Josie spoke the truth.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Something was wrong. Something was terribly wrong.

For starters, when she passed him in the corridor she smiled, but he glared at her instead. Hurt seeped into her. What had she done? Two nights ago they'd been lovers, and even yesterday he'd sat with her for every meal and caressed her with his eyes. She found it easy to believe that they were falling for each other.

But now? Now he was cold and distant. What _had_ she done? Then she noticed it wasn't just her: it was everyone. He was cold to everyone, when a week ago he was the sweetest guy. He'd come to her with a bruise on his face from Ronon punching him and she'd kissed it better when no one was looking.

Then she'd woken up this morning and he was treating her like a hated enemy. He was treating everyone like a hated enemy.

In the afternoon, she couldn't bear it. Natalie preferred to take action and be honest rather than skirt around things. She marched through the corridors to Michael's room and demanded to speak with him. The guards let her in, albeit reluctantly, and she saw Michael lying on his bed looking sorry for himself. Then he saw her and hatred appeared on his face.

"Don't you DARE look at me!" he yelled. She was grateful that the door was closed. "Don't you DARE speak to me! After all your lies…"

"What lies?" she asked calmly. He swung off the bed and stood in front of her, glowering.

"You know exactly what I mean," he hissed, "and you had the nerve to call me your friend… to call me your lover…"

"But you are," she said earnestly. "Tell me what's wrong. What lies do you think I said?"

"Everyone knows," he whispered. "All the people I'd spoken to, all the people I trusted. They didn't have the stomach to tell me the truth. But you… you were the worst. I actually _believed _that you _cared_ for me! How foolish I was…"

She grabbed his head, forcing him to look at her. "Tell me. Tell me now or I swear to god…"

"I'm a WRAITH!" he yelled. "I was given a retrovirus to make me look human, but I'm still a WRAITH! How could you?! Knowing what I was?"

Everything was clear. "I didn't do anything wrong. I never lied to you. Ronon told me to stay away. You told me people acted weird around you. Josie told me everyone else knew the truth. Everyone except _me_. I never lied. I didn't know. Deep down, you know I'm telling the truth. Even if you were a Wraith it makes no difference."

"_WERE_?! I AM a Wraith! I'm not the man who thought he was in lo-" He stopped himself. Her insides twisted. So it was going to happen. She would be hurt again. She steeled herself.

"I don't care," she growled. "I don't care if you've been a Wraith all along. You're still my lover and always will be. So I'm going to save you the trouble of rejecting me and telling me to leave. Yes, Michael, I was falling for you. I still am. I always will. But now you know the truth you're never going to accept me. It'll kill me, but this is apparently the way it has to be."

His eyes narrowed. "It's the right thing. Just… go away. Stay away from me."

She marched to the door and turned back, a grim smile on her face. "I'd say that I hope never to meet you again, but I'd be lying. Hopefully one day you have enough sense to realise that this could work. I've already accepted you. Now you have to accept yourself."

Once outside, she kept her entire body rigid, ignoring the waves of anger and despair that washed through her. As soon as she was in her room she collapsed. And the tears fell.

Seconds, minutes, hours… time held no meaning for her. After the risk she took by letting him in, he'd proved her wrong and broken her on the inside. She wouldn't go so far as to say he'd broken her heart, because if her heart was broken she would be dead.

Sophie came in, having heard the news that Michael was a Wraith, and realised Natalie knew, and he'd rejected her. She rocked the other woman in her lap for hours, her clothes soaked by tears. She knew she had to be there to comfort Natalie's hurt. That cursed Michael. How dare he do this to her.

In his room, Michael faced away from the cameras, and like a pathetic human, he wept.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

In the following days, Natalie felt numb. It was now common knowledge that Michael had escaped back to the Wraith and had nearly killed Teyla. Despite his rejection, she felt a stab of jealousy. She was his, not Teyla. The thought confused her so much that she preferred not to think of it.

What would Michael be feeling? She suspected he was guilty over it, but too proud to do anything about it. The Wraith Michael was different to the human Michael, but he still had the same soul. Somewhere deep down, she hoped that he loved her like she loved him. She ached inside every time she thought about what they'd shared. He had healed her from bitterness and she hoped to do the same for him. However she still hadn't been assigned and he was somewhere off running around in the galaxy.

Sophie stood by her, comforting her. Natalie was grateful and was as attentive as possible to her friend who, in turn, was attentive to her.

"He was nice," Sophie admitted, "but when he found out his true nature he went all Hulk and took his anger out on you. That's so not fair!'

"I wish I'd known," Natalie sighed, "then I wouldn't have to feel like this."

"You'd still be insanely attracted to him and his dangerosity of whatever you call it."

"Good point. Where do you think he is?"

"Don't know, don't care. Come on! We should do something fun and intellectually challenging to get your mind off things. I challenge you to a Battleship duel!"

"Oh, you are on!"

The two women ran to Sophie's desk in the main lab, turned on two laptops, synched them and began to play Battleship. It was Natalie's favourite game and when she was younger she used it to cheer her up when she was down. Although in this situation it merely distracted her. When she was a teenager the hardest thing was finding a date for the formal. Now she faced real heartbreak and she hated it. Why did she have to feel like this?

"Come on…" Sophie muttered. "G7." There was a pause and an explosion sounded. "Yes! I got your Fighter!"

Natalie rolled her eyes and pressed E5. Another explosion sounded as she hit Sophie Carrier. The small woman moaned and stared at her screen, frowning.

_Michael… _Natalie tasted the name on her tongue. It felt so right but it would never happen. She was fated to die alone. Every relationship she'd ever had had ended horribly and she didn't want to face the hurt. She promised herself that she wouldn't expose her emotions again and wouldn't feel like this. She wouldn't let another man in. It hurt too much.

She was also fighting the growing jealousy. Michael had manipulated Teyla, a woman much more beautiful than Natalie. She suspected that he'd had feelings for the Athosian woman as well and she didn't know how to justify herself. Had he cared for her? Natalie was too afraid of the beautiful Athosian woman to approach her and ask. What was the point? If she did then she was basically confessing that she'd had a sexual relationship with Michael, a Wraith turned human. That would disgust anyone aside from Sophie, whose pity was enough to keep the disgust at bay. Natalie didn't regret it though. She just regretted that she hadn't been able to leave with him.

The days passed in a numbing fashion and Natalie was assigned the graveyard shift of the Gateroom five nights a week. It was a far cry from her private longing to be put on a team, but she was nowhere near good enough. She was an average woman with no special abilities, a thickening waist and greying hair. That was probably why she hadn't been put on a team. She was getting old. For a second she pondered that thought, but she didn't think much of it. Age was a must if she was human.

Natalie stood in the Gateroom with her gun resting in her hand. Sophie had promised to bring a coffee an hour ago and it still hadn't come. Perhaps her friend was just late.

The thought was correct for Sophie came running into the Gateroom with two coffees, panting like a dog in summer.

"I'm sorry!" Sophie wheezed, handing Natalie the coffee. "I got held up in the lab."

"That's okay," Natalie told her. Why did Atlantis seem lonelier without Michael?

Sophie sat with her for twenty minutes before excusing herself to go to bed. Natalie nodded and finished her coffee, moving up to the control room.

That was when Atlantis first detected the Wraith hive ship heading towards Atlantis.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

She wasn't sure what to make of everything. Michael was back on Atlantis with two other Wraith. How had they been let in?! Everyone knew that their location hadn't been betrayed, but they didn't know why. Perhaps he sought to take advantage of them. Natalie prayed that he wouldn't. It would ruin everything she loved about him.

For some reason, she wanted him to find her. She wanted to see what he'd become and to hear his voice. In her mind she saw him touching her and felt her response. She thought about it every day. It was inescapable. It was not a teenage obsession, but the love of a grown woman. Natalie wasn't afraid of him. She was afraid of her feelings. It was because of that that she sought peace in the room that was hers and Michael's. If he truly wanted to find her, he would only need to go there. She would be waiting for him.

Natalie had finished 'Jane Eyre' long ago and was now reading 'The Chrysalids'. She enjoyed reading old books, and by old she meant at least fifty years old. The new books were all too similar for her tastes. Every romance story was the same, with a happy ending. She'd had enough experience to know that love wasn't fair and people often made stupid choices which cost their happiness. Everyone made that mistake, and so had she.

Only an hour had passed before a shadow was cast over the room from the doorway. Natalie didn't look up. She knew who it was.

"I see you still read in this room." His voice was deeper and more multi-layered then she remembered. It made him seem less human. She didn't care. He was still Michael.

"It's our room," she replied softly. She couldn't summon venom in her words, not against someone she loved.

"It's not mine anymore." He sounded tortured and she turned, looking into his yellow eyes. She saw pain, suffering and loss in them. Anyone would be disturbed after finding out things like he had. Her stomach clenched and she fought back tears. Michael had been to hell because of the experiment. He'd been taught the human values, then had Wraith ones shoved onto him. It was enough to drive anyone crazy.

"This will always been our room," she murmured. He moved closer and his guards loomed behind him threateningly. Natalie waved them back. She had no need of them – she was confident that Michael wouldn't try to kill her.

"I regretted what happened between us," he said softly. Was that the barest flicker of remorse? "It ended because I was angry. I wasn't thinking straight. I had no right to take out my anger on you; you, the only person who'd shown me absolute kindness and more."

"We were friends," she said thickly. "We were more than friends."

He lowered his voice even more. "I really did love you." Even monsters were allowed a soft side. Natalie had watched _King Kong_ and bawled her eyes out. The only difference was that she wasn't beautiful and Michael was an alien.

"I still do," she murmured. "I suspect I always will."

His face went slack and he moved to sit beside her. She glared daggers at his guards and they backed away under her furious gaze. Everyone knew that she and Michael had been friends during his short time on Atlantis and they were entitled to a few moments' privacy. Reluctantly, the two men shut the door and stood outside, reading to come in at a word.

Once they were gone Michael turned his tortured gaze on her. "I do not regret much about this place. My only regret is you."

"You regret that you ever met me."

"No. Natalie, for one frightening moment I wanted to _be_ human for you. My only regret is that I cannot take you away with me. The other Wraith would not accept it."

"So you're leaving me again?"

"I am leaving because it is best for both of us." His hands reached forward to hold hers and she didn't resist. "Rest assured, one day I will find a way to eliminate our need to feed. When that day comes I will come back for you. Then we can be together without worry of me feeding you."

She sighed. "That sounds perfect."

"It may take a few years," he said with a wry smile. "I will also make sure that whatever I come up with will allow me to become more… physically stimulated."

"You'd do that for me?" she blushed.

"You told me that you needed it. You are true to me and I will do whatever I can to help me." He smiled, showing pointed teeth. "I would also be honoured to call you my girlfriend."

"Long-distance relationships don't always end well," she grinned. He squeezed her hand at the banter then became serious.

"I will have to go to lengths to work on fixing this cure," he said. "You may not like what I will do. Whatever it is, though, it is so we can be together freely."

As time passed and Michael committed atrocities in the creation of this cure, Natalie consoled her guilt with the thought that he was doing it for freedom. He was doing it because he'd fallen in love with a human. He'd never hated her. He loved her.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

**_Three years later…_**

While her body changed, her mind stayed the same. Natalie's body changed as she got older. Her muscles hardened as she spent more time in the gym and the ATA gene had taken to her, allowing her to operate Ancient technology. Her hair steadily became greyer and Josie eventually ignored her. A year ago Sophie had gone back to Earth and hadn't come back. Natalie befriended some scientists who worked with physics, like her, and a group of Marines in the same unit as her. She was accepted as a part of the expedition but she played a relatively minor role compared with SGA1 and whoever the leader of Atlantis was. She'd gone through three leaders in her time there – Weir, Carter then Woolsey. Of the three Carter had been the best.

To help her through the long nights, she thought of Michael and that he was out there somewhere. Sheppard had tried to kill him several times, but the hybrid Wraith was able to slip away. Natalie was delighted to hear that his cure had worked and he no longer needed to feed. She was concerned that he needed to kidnap Teyla's people to do it, but he was desperate. Now he had succeeded and he had to keep in his promise to come back to her. She'd never told anyone of the promise; not even Sophie.

One night when she was working the night shift in the control room, she knew Michael had come. The Jumper came through the Stargate, landed and an energy burst expanded to cover the whole of Stargate Operations. She thought she saw Michael's face, but then she was unconscious.

Natalie came to in the conference room, separate from everyone. Michael had been sitting, waiting for her to wake up. As soon as he eyes opened he was there. He looked different to when she'd last seen him. More human. His feeding slit was gone, leaving smooth, unblemished skin.

"You're here," she breathed. "I knew you would come."

"I couldn't leave you behind," he replied. "I made an oath and I have never forgotten." She recalled that his mind had been wiped a second time. He hated all Lanteans, save her. She was the closest he'd ever had to a real friend before.

"I waited for you."

He reached down and claimed her lips with his. She sighed, knowing that she would be put to rest.

"What about your men?" she whispered against his mouth.

"I told them to stay away," he moaned. Michael grabbed her face and pushed it to one side, kissing her cheek, ear and temple. "I missed you," he murmured. "The cure worked a little too well. I still believe we could be together without it."

They kissed one last time and he wrapped his arms around her, him holding her for what felt like forever. Michael had some things to tend to after their hour of peace and he kissed her softly before leaving to sort it all out. Natalie sat dreamily, thinking of Michael with fond thoughts. He'd snapped at her and they'd been separated for three years, but they'd pulled through. They were strong. She had told herself that she would be there for him and she had. Those moments' years ago seemed inconsequential now; the sparring, that party and the time in the reading room. All were memories of him. As messed up as it was, she had fallen in love with the experiment Michael and there was no turning back.

Things went wrong with their escape when Ronon – curse that Satedan – came in and fought Michael. It seemed everyone wanted Michael out, but they didn't know his true mission. They thought he was there for Teyla and her baby, but they were wrong. He was there for Natalie.

She watched Michael fight from afar and, deciding to lend a hand, she ran upstairs to the Jumper Bay and piloted it out the roof, circling the city. In moments she saw Michael dangling from the top of the Central Tower with Teyla standing over him. Natalie cloaked her Jumper and flew it to just underneath Michael. When he fell, he hit the roof of the Jumper and she lowered it down quickly, letting Teyla think that he was falling. At the base of the tower she landed and opened the back for Michael to climb into. He looked shaken.

"That was awful," he groaned, touching his rib where Ronon had punched him. "Thanks for that. I would have died."

"Why do you think I intervened," she said cheekily. "I couldn't let you die. Not since you're the love of my life."

He chuckled. "It's all so strange to me. As a human it was easy, but now things are going to be complicated."

"I don't care if it's complicated as long as I'm with you."

Her own faith surprised her. She landed the Jumper on the south pier, waiting several hours with the cloak on until the searches for his body ceased. They would wait until the remains of Michael's Jumper had been removed before making their escape. In those hours they talked and she remembered why she'd loved him and why she swore never to him go. Not after he'd taught her what love felt like.

At midday, when most people would be having lunch, they descended into the Jumper Bay and further into the Gateroom. Michael dialled the address to another planet and Natalie paused before flying through. Atlantis had been good to her. She'd liked it there. It was where she'd met Michael. Atlantis would always hold a special place in her heart, but home was where Michael was.

_"Jumper Four, please disengage," _said an engineer through the PA. _"Jumper Four you are not authorised."_

"The hell we are," Natalie muttered. The Jumper zoomed through the Stargate and on the other side it was a barren landscape.

"Come on," Michael said gently. She turned the Jumper around and he dialled another address. They repeated the same process until emerging on a planet that looked like paradise. The sun was shining, the grass was green and she could hear animals through the glass windshield.

"Is this where we're stopping?" she asked.

"This is our new home," he said. "I've built us a house."

She flew the Jumper over a forest until seeing a thatched roof. Michael directed her to land beside the house and they left. Inside it was warm with three rooms and a light interior. It was beautiful. She examined the entrance room while he waited for her approval.

"You must have had a lot of time," she observed.

"I had three years," he reminded her. "This is our home now. I'd be honoured to live here until the end of our days."

Yes, she would miss Atlantis, but she was home. Michael wrapped his arms around her and she was in synch with his human side. He would always be human now, on the inside. He'd accepted himself and she would always love him for that. They'd been condemned to fail, yet had pushed through until this moment. It was really very simple as she laid her head on his shoulder while he rocked her from side-to-side.

They were soul mates. They were eternity.

Meanwhile, in Atlantis, Ronon, Teyla, Sheppard and McKay were looking at the video footage around the Gateroom from the time of the attack. They watched as Michael's hybrids carried away the unconscious, but there was someone that wasn't. Michael carried her to the conference room and laid her down before leaving to tend to his attack on the city. Rodney sped up time and soon that camera caught the woman waking up with Michael beside her. The team watched in disbelief as the woman and Michael kissed.

"I know her," Ronon grated. "She was at that party three years ago. Remember, Sheppard? I told her to stay away from him. I bet she let him in."

"No, she didn't," Rodney replied. "I've been through her room and there's no indication that she was communicating with him. But I think I know why he came back."

"Why?" Sheppard asked.

"I've listened to the audio and… well; I believe Captain Doctor Natalie Benson and Michael had had a relationship since his first time in Atlantis. I got a hold on some of his retrovirus and it was also designed to allow physical stimulation. I believe they loved each other."

"That's impossible!" Teyla exclaimed. "I would have-" She broke off. "He did tell me at one point that he'd made a new friend, but he never said who. Then, when he stormed the city, he said he didn't come just for my baby. He came to take her."

"The audio supports it," Rodney added. "He talks about an oath, an oath I suspect he made when he was here after his first treatment. The guards did say that Benson and he talked alone for a few minutes."

"I've pieced it together," John announced. "Benson and Michael meet when he's a human. They become friends and soon develop feelings for each other. He finds out that he's a Wraith and leaves without ending things with her. When he comes back he swears that he'll come and get her when he finishes his retrovirus. Then he kills all these people and destroys planets just so he can fix a virus and be with her. That's kinda extreme."

"We should have killed him when we had the chance," Ronon growled.

"Yeah, well, he's not dead and we're never gonna find him," Rodney said matter-of-factly. "Benson stole a Jumper and used it to escape yesterday. I suspect with Michael on board. There's no way to know where they are now."

"She made a big mistake," Sheppard said, his face tightening. "They've just condemned themselves. If we find either of them, we will kill them. As of now, Captain Doctor Natalie Benson is an enemy of Atlantis for fraternizing with a dangerous enemy."

"What if they really were in love," Teyla said calmly. "You cannot blame her actions if that is the case."

"I know," he said heavily. "Nevertheless, it's my duty. I'll go see Woolsey and make it official. She's no longer one of us and will be killed on sight."

And yet, two months later, Atlantis left the galaxy to save Earth, and Natalie and Michael were free to live out the rest of their little corner of eternity in peace.


End file.
